Well, my beloved Blackberry Playbook is obviously doomed! The Daily Mash has said that there is a new tablet on the market – the aye Pad!! Details of this new tablet below. Even funnier are the articles below:
It includes such great quotes as:
Launching the device, Cook exuded quiet evil as he explained that, while the tablet is pretty much identical to its predecessor, the real development was that the company had decided to sadistically exploit its devotees.He said: “Potential buyers of the new machine, which is really just 4% shinier than iPad 2, will be expected to prove themselves worthy.
“Apple outlets will be transformed into extravagantly cruel assault courses. Customers are to be shaved head to foot, dipped in tanks of fluorescent de-lousing fluid and then zipped into maggot costumes.
“On assuming the role of ‘maggot’, the customer may say nothing except ‘I am a maggot and I crave only the Apple’.
Apple is now offering an offline ‘fix’ for the problem where owners hand themselves in for psychological reconditioning and massive electric shocks.A spokesman said: “It’s a simple mental readjustment to make users more compatible with their iPads.…….Reconditioned iPad owner Tom Logan said: “My iPad works perfectly, it’s simply that the rest of the universe, specifically the internet and my hotmail, has yet to fall into sync with its utter perfection.”And before you ask, it is the ideal size and will fit perfectly into my eight-inch trouser pocket, just as soon as the imperfect universe sees fit to create such a perfect garment.”